My Journal Entries...




May 7 2:28pm

Today's my day to just sit on my ever expanding ass and hang out. Yep, today's the day to sit and eat ding-dongs, watch Oprah and get fat. Not as fat as Oprah mind you, but fat just the same. I love ding-dongs and I love Oprah. Yep, me and Oprah, making the connection... yet somehow we both continue to weigh too much and yet we both keep our men. Hmmmmm? Obviously Oprah has the cash to keep her man regardless of what she looks like, just whats my secret then? If you send me five dollars to "" then I'll send you my secrets. And if enough of you send me cash then I'll be rich enough so that I can get fat enough to also keep my man regardless. So get writing those cyber cheques baby, my future happiness depends on it.

***grabbing a ding-dong BRB***

I've been reading a new journal that I had previously ignored by accident. I'm such a slag... I mean a fag, I mean.... but anways enough about me and onto the new journal. I've been reminded that despite my few misgivings in regards to my roommate's taste in art I'm pretty fucking lucky. Yep, I sure am. After reading about "his" roommate I'm even, dare I say... thankful, to have the roommate that I have. The progression of "his" roommate's transformation seems akin to the cockroach people in Mimic. I was waiting to here that she had started peeing in the corners of his room as a sign of territory and dominance. Even my cats only did that to my roommate long enough to establish control. This girl though... I think it might take a few more episodes till she feels that security. I've just finished reading and it ends abruptly.... I hope everthing is ok.

Speaking of roommates... I was talking to mine today about art (for a change) and she starts to tell me about how she wants to buy a piece by the artist whose piece I'm purchasing... remember now that this is the same woman that raved about her art and it's lack of merit less than a month ago. Suddenly she needs to own one of her smaller pieces... hmmm, I'm not sure I'm totally following this. But regardless her analogy was that she "could never live with one of her bigger pieces". I felt that if I was a better roommate I would've informed her that one of them was on the way. The piece I'm getting is 40inches wide and 60inches long and I've yet to break it to her. I just know she'll lose it, but in a way I think it'll somehow make her jealous... not sure if jealous, but it'll creep her out in some way. She thinks of herself as the "successful one" I believe, and I think once I own a substantial piece by a recognized artist this will eat at her something fierce. She's one of those people that seems to compare herself against others on a quite regular basis, something I'll never understand.

One of these days I'll actually write about her in more detail. She's a good person, and an interesting woman, yet she has all sorts of idiosyncrisities that I don't understand. But she is a great roommate in that she doesn't have "house" issues, we tend to work opposite shifts, and she possesses my one absolute necessity when it comes to roommates... she's not looking for a best friend. To me a roommate is just that, a roommate... not someone who is involved in your business and into your life more than superficially. I need that distinction.

I've given myself the evening off as I have stuff (work related) that I need to accomplish at home, and finding the extra time in my schedule right now isn't even an option. So I've been giving myself lots of "down" time... laying around, watching TV, etc before buckling down to my work. I really need to NOT turn on the TV during my downtime as the People's Court and these talkshows are just such brainsucking nonsense. I can't believe that I can on occasion take pleasure in the dysfunctionability of people that I would NEVER allow into my space in RL. It really is a twisted pursuit, and not even slightly healthy.

Spent yet another night with friends yesterday and can you believe that when they left I actually fell asleep and slept until Greg was walking out the door for work? Two nights in a row, I'm beside myself to say the least. I did make one HORRID faux pas last night. I told two Jon Benet Ramsey jokes... I know, how despicable of me. But I think that the ability to laugh at the ludicrious is an admirable trait that few possess. Needless to say I had to agree to never tell them again as our one friends was just horrified and I do really respect her so I apologized. I did briefly try and turn it into a philosophical discussion around the ability to view mass affection with a sense of humor and satire. This was fruitless as she just kept looking at me and repeating... "its a murdered child... you don't joke about that EVER." I stand corrected and apologetic.

I'm concerned about Rodion. I know I should mail him, but at the same time I think there are times that we just want to be left alone to work through stuff and this may be one of those times. I hadn't read any journals for a few days due to time constraints and so much has happened to so many that it was a bit unnerving to see. If you are reading this Rodion... congratulations on your sobriety, you are an ispiration and a guide for many others. I'm so sorry that you would recieve such mixed news on such a blessed day. You're in my thoughts, and will be for the time to come. Take the best care of yourself in the days to come. I want to say something but I know that whatever condolences I could offer would not equal your pain...

PS: My roommate just walked out the door for work... a night alone in my home, what ever shall I do? I'm thinking nude vacuuming is in order.

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