MY JOURNAL ENTRIES

 

                            

March 5 2:49am

***Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.***

Jerry Seinfeld

I'm not sure where to start so I'll just start babbling and if at any point I lose you... ummmmm, then I guess I lose you. First of all thanks to Exodus for the above quote. I must be tired as it wasn't till I was actually pasting it that its full effect struck me. Not sure exactly as to what I  thought it meant prior but it was something thoroughly different then what it was intended to portray. And yes, I'm exhausted... hence my confusion.

***

I just got home from Greg's about 45 minutes ago, and I'm still trying to wake up or fall asleep, whichever comes first. I'd fell asleep with him but started having bad dreams and the apartment was too hot, so I headed home. But I'm getting ahead of myself so I'll go back about 24 hours and start over.

I showed up at his work last night and thought I was gonna be a huge help in getting him out of there earlier than him and his staff would've been otherwise. This was not to be the case at all. He was cute in that he kept giving me things to do that were way over my skill level, and then would sit with me and explain it etc and basically train me and then leave me to work for a bit. In essence I'm sure it took him longer to train me than it would've for him to just do it himself. He was, I think, just trying to make me feel useful. He's a sweet man I tell ya. I got there around 630pm and the four of us didn't leave until almost ten thirty. Needless to say we didn't get to play pool. *sigh* All is not right in my universe, maybe next week though. I made him something to eat and then he fell asleep as soon as I turned my back to do the dishes. I knew I was gonna be up all night so I kissed his forehead and then headed home. Ok, so I did sorta "sniff" him before I left, but I'm sure that's not of interest is it?

The poor guy is just beat up feeling right now. Work has been busting his balls, and they're going through a huge change. Mainly that he could be taking over his boss' job in the next while. I'm not sure how he'll deal with this as he's feeling somewhat bitter due to the insane time demands his job has taken as of late. But then again, under the right management (his) these issues could be easily avoided, as most of the complaints at work are due to the way the place is currently being mismanaged.

He finally got hold of me today (I took the day off of work to see him) around suppertime, apparently I'd given him the wrong number when I updated him. He accused me of buying time, jokingly of course, as I'd actually been hurt that he'd not called till so late, as we had made plans to spend the day together. I know, I know, I coulda called him and all.... but sometimes its just nice to be pursued. We rented two excellent movies tonight. Dream with the Fishes - starring David Arquette, and Career Girls by Mike Leigh. Career Girls was better, but yet both were excellent. I love Mike Leigh and I still haven't forgiven Hollywood for not giving the best supporting to Marianne-Jean Baptiste for Secrets and Lies. Even more pissed about that than I was for Forrest Gump taking Best Picture over Pulp Fiction. I know, I know... just let it go James. Just let it go. *ten deep breaths* Actually Marianne Jean-Baptiste did the music for Career Girls, not bad eh? But if you like Mike Leigh and you liked Secrets and Lies, then Career Girls is a def must. And no, I'm not getting a commission. :)

And yes, we had a chance to be intimate tonight. FINALLY. Ok, so its not a huge deal, but at the same time I was really missing that sensation. Not the sex, but the intimacy. There's just something about holding someone while they climax that is unparalleled. Ok, I admit I'm one of those people that finds sex, well good sex that is, to be an almost spiritual experience at times. Am I digging a hole here? It's just the whole concept of giving, while receiving pleasure, that I find to be.... hmmmmmm, to be the most selfish-selfless experience. Not sure I made any sense but I'm too tired to attempt a rewrite. Actually the whole night was great, it was like a total couples night. He'd bitch about his work and talk about all the upcoming shit he had on the go for tomorrow. I'd just listen, rub his back, and say all those pat responses while he vented and worked through his frustrations. Anyone who reads this journal regularly knows that I love those sort of domestic scenarios. We went to sleep at almost midnight and he still set his alarm for 530am, he wants to get in early as he's terrified that everything won't be taken care of in advance, unfortunately he's probably wise to do so. I hope the rest of his week smooths out, I know he's frustrated and tired.

***

Did I ever mention that Shandra was only supposed to be around for 3-4 months, long enough to learn English? Well she just sent home for her rollerblades and summer clothes it seems. I'm surprisingly not as concerned as I thought I would be about this change. Greg thinks she's never going home after all. He says he thinks he may have to ask her to find someplace else to live as she never really asked about extending her stay with him. Its just that the guy has no space and as I've stated before both him and I have huge space needs. But its nice in that she has two friends now, and seems to be on the prowl for an English-speaking boyfriend. Just as long as they both speak the international language of love they'll be Ok. *snicker*

***

Things are still cool with the new roomie, I'm down to unpacking all the "junk" boxes now. Kinda do one a night when I get home, and so it's all pulling together nicely. I noticed the other morning just how pretty Daria is. I'd known she was striking looking, but her clothes and carriage are so overwhelming that you notice her more as being a "creature" it seems. But the other morning she was wearing a pair of black tights, her hair was flat and unstyled, no makeup, and she was barefoot in a boys tight striped sweater, and she was absolutely radiant looking. She was kinda curled up in the chair sipping a bowl of tea and I looked over and was momentarily transfixed with how cute she looked. I can see why so many men are fascinated with her.

She confessed that her best male friend is an escort last night. I think she thought I'd be shocked or at least taken aback. But rather I'd brought the subject up as I'd been discussing the sex trade in response to something I'd seen on TV earlier, and she just sorta blurted it out. It was like she was having a moment or something, but yet it was nice that she trusted me with this confidence as it doesn't seem like something she's entirely confident with. Maybe its more the fear of association, but from what she says he has way more pressing issues than just being a hooker.

***

Which leads me nicely into my next rant. My city is trying to de-regulate prostitution. That gives me grave concerns. Not sure how you spell Hell's Angel's influence and control over the sex trade. If they de-regulate the escort industry I don't even wanna know just what the effect will be upon the women and men who are employed within the industry. And the terrible part is that they actually think this is a "good" thing. I'm no Martha Stewart but even I can see the eventual outcome, and it is not pleasant. I talked to a few friends tonight that make their livings this way and they are genuinely scared about the future.

***

Before I forget... I won the Totally Cool Queer Sites Award. *G* And since I'm able to track how many click through I got from their site, I'm assuming that those of you that read regularly must have voted for me. So if you voted then Thank You. *slight bow*

In the next few days I'll put up my cat award and the TCQS logo, and then join the webring attached. I admit I'm a sucker for those things (as I'm sure you figured out already), even given some thought to making one of my own. Ummmmm, if I ever finish my webring that is. Time has just been such a bitch lately. So naturally everything is still on hold till I rebuild my system and upgrade still. Guess I really should get my butt in gear eh?

Am I the only person on the planet who hasn't seen a single episode of South Park?

Night...

PS: gonna check and see if I was ever added to the Rooster Journals page, if not I'm taking down the logo I made for it. Why bother keeping a list if you can't be bothered to update it, or to respond to the people who apply? Pisses me off it does.

PPS: Just checked it.... the banner is coming down.

back - forward

INDEX