My Journal Entries...



Mar 30th 3:39pm

*** You have no life. ***

Daria the other night when I came home and turned my computer on before taking off my shoes.

'Nother exciting day at the office. AKA James gets to do paperwork on his day off FOR A CHANGE. Also doing the same thing tomorrow, actually I'm in a workshop on Policies and Procedures. A totally irrelevant one at that, as I've already taken this course. But there is no record of me having done it, therefore I get to sit there for 8 hours, on my day off, being force-fed things I could turn around and teach. But hey, as I've said before.... they pay me hourly so what do I care. Only bad thing is that I was supposed to be going skiing tomorrow, with my friend that's working overseas. He'll be leaving start of next week so this was our last chance to hit the mountain. *sigh*

I'm actually sitting in a chat room right now waiting to see if Jason shows up or not. He'd mentioned he might be around and I kinda wanna see him before I head out. So instead of just focusing on what little paperwork I have left and finishing up some HTML that I've been hassling over for two days now, instead I'm semi distracted writing this journal and toggling between this and chat. No wonder I'm so disorientated half the time. Focus James, focus.

I didn't make it two nights in a row with Greg, instead I snuck out once he fell asleep. I did try though, watched The People VS Larry Flint first then snuck off. I'm starting to think that I'm just one of those people that will always be a night owl, and only needs four hours of sleep a night. The day before when Greg and I slept the night, I knew for a fact that he'd gotten two and a half hours more sleep than me, that he had a nap during the day, and yet he was still in bed before me last night. His internal clock is definitely the most regular I've EVER seen.


Chat room update - all the married guys must be getting ready to leave their offices as I keep having them whisper to me. "Hey, you up to some hot-chat?" I type back my generic response.... "fuck off freak."

I've got some teenager asking if he can send me nudie pics of himself. I always figure whenever that happens its some 50+ yr old troll with a fetish. Or maybe a federal agent, same diff it seems.


Promised to send some E's to Hungary for a friend of a friend. I just wish that when people give you something to transcribe that they would be REALLY neat and print it out, instead of writing it. When you don't know the language it can be a real bitch to try and transcribe something that you don't understand, especially when the g's look like y's etc.

One my way home from the office I spent twenty bucks on Mexican Coffee and thirty+ bucks on Belgium beer, so next time I bitch about being broke, pay me no mind. Cause it's my own damned fault it appears.

Femme Fatale had been playing the worse April Fool's trick on a highly unstable friend of hers. She said about a week ago that she thought she was pregnant, and then confirmed it after her Dr.'s appointment. Now the friend, who is a very obsessive, closeted, and unstable lesbian is convinced they'll be the parents and live happy ever after sort deal. As the Femme Fatale is way too unstable to raise a child by herself, so the big lesbian is all ready to swoop in and save her and her unborn child. She's meeting her for coffee on Wednesday to confirm the sex of the baby. She's gonna tell her that the Dr wrote it down and will slide her "the" note. Its gonna just say APRIL FOOL'S in big letters when she opens it. I personally think that's a bit extreme myself, but its not me that has to cope with the ensuing needy friend as a result of such a prank.

Found a pic of my first long term boyfriend last night. It was a set of those "picture booth" photos in black and white. I forgot how damned cute we'd been. He's the one that I probably have regrets over to a degree still. I sometimes wonder if it could've lasted, had I not been such a child at the time. I was 20, he was 29. Yet he did have a bit of a "daddy" complex, and I prided myself on my independence, so naturally we just drove the relationship into the ground in a year. He was my first love though. The first one that I could spend hours in his arms, and promise to love him forever, etc. GAG, I feel sick just thinking about it.

Its always amazing how sentimentally sickening you can be when love is new and fresh. But to reclaim that sensation would be wonderful. The feeling of knowing you'll be waking up next to someone everyday, and that initial lovemaking when you'd envisioned it for so long. I used to love laying in bed half asleep while he got ready to go to work. We had a bathroom attached to our bedroom so I could sort see his profile while he showered, and then listen to him brushing his teeth, picking out his clothes, etc. My favorite part was when he'd lean down to kiss me before he left to make his breakfast. The smell of his soap, cologne, shaving cream... the way it sort drifts through the air and then lingers following. That's definitely my warmest memory of him. That moment when you're not awake fully, but instead its like a soft dream. God I love that. And I will say that he did have the best "smell", even without cologne he was delicious to lay against and inhale. :)

Well I'm off to do some work... and to fantasize about good smelling ex-boyfriends.

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