My Journal Entries...



Mar 29

A friend  that recently started a journal, E'd me something to the effect of how necessary they found their journal, needing that time to purge and regurge sorta deal. I sooooo agree with that. I'm been looking at the issues I was dealing with when I very first began this project of sorts. I know I've dealt with things differently than I would've had I not been attempting to articulate what I do, why I do it, and why I felt so helpless to change it. I've definitely grown I feel.

I notice growth in different areas all the time, and not just as a result of the journal, but all the things that have had a cumulative effect. But this sounding board has been what's kept me from being consumed by it. I feel now I make decisions based less on an emotional platform, VS one that consists of equal parts logic and emotion. So instead of putting an issue out of my mind, I'm starting to notice that I've actually put things to rest.

Most importantly the issues I was talking about yesterday in regards to my ex-friend. I saw her today, and although I was thoroughly stressing it prior.... it went fine. We were cordial but nothing more, she actually may have been more concerned than I was, as I did sense some tension (or was it uncomfortability at one point on her part). Yet I remained emotionally unaffected, even saw the Abused, and the Abuser (step sister and her husband) and felt nothing (read hostility) towards them at all. They even did me a rather grand favor, and I felt genuinely grateful and pleased for their time. I know that sounds simple... its what most people do. Well its all new to me still, so let me enjoy the short glow I've got as a result. :)


Tomorrow is another day that will suck in regards to how much I have to do, yet as I'm on such a roll... I'm totally looking forward to how I'll feel once its all dealt with.


Best thing too happen in the last while... after Greg and I made love last night. I actually was so relaxed and content, that I fell asleep in his arms. I woke up and he was sitting up smiling at me. He leaned over and just wrapped his arms around me and we lay there for quite awhile just enjoying each other. It's been quite awhile since I have actually been able to stay the night and not be consumed with other issues and timelines. I'm grinning a big one as I type this. :)

Tonight's agenda? Movies, movies, and more movies. Hopefully some pizza and a little sex thrown in for good measure, nice but not necessary mind you.

PS: if you've noticed a bit of irregularity with my updates lately, then you didn't have to look too hard.... but I am focusing on RL a bit more, and as a result my cyber will suffer. I'll still update regularly, but may only upload every few days due to my access and constraints. Meaning that I'm gonna try to not sneak off to update when I should be doing other things. Ummmm, I still love you though, and hope you'll still visit. :)

PPS: Have I mentioned recently that I've lured Noah to the dark side? AKA the side that loves Jane Austen as much as I do. It took alot of convincing to get him to open the book, but I knew that Jane could take it from there. Needless to say, she convinced him... not me. Atta girl Jane.

Off to see that man.... laters.

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