MY JOURNAL ENTRIES
Mar 21 11:30pm
So lots has happened lately, hence my inability to update, well partially that is. I've been super busy and most of what has happened has felt really good, yet I've been feeling strange emotionally. Its like I'm walking around watching myself and everyone around me through a plate glass window. At the end of the day I have no concrete "textured" memories. Make sense? Probably not. Oh well, welcome to that which is my life.
Let me think... I'll start with work. I've been in meetings all week and had a huge meeting with the new supervisor and all my staff. Guess what? I LOVE HER :) She's great, really and truly. She came in as a "new staff". No pretention, airs, or attitude. I'm really pleased with this new development. I was even so bold as to give her unlimited access to ALL my files, and that's not something I do often. Because I had such anymosity towards the SOW, I seldom even told her directly where stuff was. Would give her vague directions as to their whereabouts, and then make her search for em. Even once went so far as to take some home, just cause I minded her interverence. I can be a prick when the situation begs for it. But I did sit down with the new boss and give her the skinny on me and the Sow. She was excellent. Asked me what I expect from a supervisor, and in turn gave me her expectations of me. Thats how I treat my staff, so it was def a welcome change. I'm really pleased with how involved she wants to become in what we are doing, and what our goals are. I really think she's someone who will work "with me" and not against me.
Home life... Greg is excellent as usual. He's all sweet words, good sex, and soft touches. I could write more, but that says it all.
Friends... My friend from the Middle East is a fuck up, but a fuck up good I guess. I love him, but I'll never understand him. We're supposed to go snowboarding this week, but I'm not holding my breath. If nothing else I really want to go skiing at least once this year. I think he can't stand the fact that I'm in a stable relationship and live with someone that he feels has cult club status. He's used to being (in his mind) the one that had it all. Now I've surpassed him in many regards, except for career, and I think its thrown the power balance off and he doesn't like it. Maybe its not that he "doesn't like it", so much as he's unable to assimilate it. Resistance is Futile.
more on friends... My friend that's Manic came to town today, but unfortuneately I never saw her. She was at her sister's house and only stopped off to leave some programs at another friend of mine's house. She's been driving me a bit whacky as well. Its mostly her online life interfering in RL that is making me nuts. I'll phone her because I have definite things to discuss in a decided time limit. I'll tell her this upfront and she'll just sorta drift into "and then on chat, Cheryl said to me" and I just wanna jump through the phone and rip her in half. I'm continuously reminding her that she never gave me a concrete response to dates, etc. Often it takes numerous times to get her on track. Makes me nuts. But yeah, I still love her, I'm lucky to know her.
Trivial note on friends... an ex affair of mine that's a somewhat good friend now divulged that he actually has a correspondance with the queen of England... go figure eh. He met her at an "event" when he was 8yrs old, and as a result wrote her a letter. They've been in contact ever since. Not exciting, but I did think this tidbit was def worthy of a mention.
I'm still playing pool once a week, so I'm REALLY happy bout that, and we've even taken to including other's in our outings. And yep, I've been winning and thats not common for me :)
Roommate Philes... Daria is really an odd girl. But yes, good odd not bad odd. Some trivial notes on her are as follows. She never closes the bathroom door when she urinates. She talks to herself continuously. She loves my cats. She once had a chance to sleep with an incredibly hunky, incredibly rich, and well known actor... and she DECLINED. My response to that was "the only question for me would've been. Do you want me on my stomach or my back?" She watched the cooking channel ALL the time, yet I rarely see her cook. Last but no least, she thinks I'm a freak and tells me this all the time. But as always, freak good not freak bad."
Its weird in a way. As I become more acquainted with people through my journal and this whole project of sorts. The more I've indirectly facillitated communication between others. Its weird though when someone mentions to me that they've started a relationship with "so and so" and I'll ask "do they live in such and such a place?". And then they're surprised I know them, or whatever. Or to be reading in the journals that I used to feel were my "little finds" about people I know as they in turn develop relationships and repoires with the same people. Its weird, guess I'm so used to knowing people and not having any of those people knowing each other. But I definitely like it, for the first time, beyond chat lines, I sense "community". That is a phrase I hate, I don't feel like I'm part of the "online journalling community", as I'm WAY too critical of them. Thats just me, I'm a highly critical person, or as I like to say "I'm not critical, I'm just REALLY discerning". I don't feel like I'm part of the mailing list that I belong to for journallers, and I often delete ninety percent of the posts without even reading em. My one rule of thumb is as soon as the posts get retitled with ANYONE'S name then its a automatic deletion. Anyone who subscribes to the list will def know what I'm talking about. But now that I'm seeing names of people who I do feel an affinity for showing up in each other's journals I really like it. Maybe because these aren't the really mouthy opinionated people that I detest, but rather people whom I found and who found each other through happenstance. I don't know... I'm babbling I know. Maybe I just find these people more real, its not about luring people to your site or garnering more hits, or posting to the list every ten minutes, but rather what I felt journalling was about. Appealing to yourself and not an audience. The audience is great, but its just the gravy on the steak. And yeah, I know that I always manage to piss someone off when I talk about this and am sure that at least a few people reading this are shaking their heads and saying "get over it". Well nope, not getting over it. Six degrees of separation, just gotta find those six people. So far I've met five of em.