Jan 28 11:58pm

*** you said CATS was an all-time low in a lifetime of theatre-going***

Stockard Channing's daughter in 6 Degrees of Separation

Sure after my bitching about not liking popular journals, I go and find one I like (or should I say YET another one). When I started my journal I'd only ever stumbled across one journal prior, I hated it incidentally (and YEP its one of the more popular ones).. I really had no idea how many were in existence, so basically I'm telling myself that I'm not a sheep. This new journal is by an attractive, young, wealthy, intelligent woman in North Carolina... or at least I'm going with the belief she is all these things. Very engaging reading. I particularly like the fact that she's upfront about sexuality and seems to be sexually healthy... that's always a nice treat. I haven't done so yet but I'm definitely gonna mail her when I finish reading it. I admit though that I always do feel that initial apprehension when I contact someone, I know... how Sally Field-ish of me. blah, blah, blah.

So Dan's insane... is this a shock or did you figure this out on your own? He was helping ensure the functionability of my Fax and was sending me a fax in response to mine. He's such a psycho. All the fax said was (younger readers and those of a sexually frustrated nature skip to next paragraph please)... Can I come over and suck your dick? How original he is. I haven't heard such a proposition since.... OH, the tenth grade or so. He just doesn't get it. The though of sex with him, in any regard turns my stomach. Sure I may be a slut and sexually dysfunctional, but even I have my limits as to what I'll engage in. I really gotta have this boy rubbed out for good. I know I say that all the time. I figure he's akin to the tattoo that you hate, but having it removed is just so much more work that you endure the occasional snickerings by friends and loved ones. Things like "god could that look anymore dated?", or "did he get that on sale?"

Greg and I haven't had sex in almost two weeks. Not by design mind you, just opportunity, exhaustion and mood swings. I'm sexually frustrated BIG TIME. And yeah, I snuck out again last night once he fell asleep, but I was good and kissed his forehead before leaving (his request not mine). He told me I have a great "smell", that actually kinda turned me on, not sexually but emotionally. I was looking at his newest piece and he was standing behind me leaning over my shoulder at the time. I'm such a suck.

The girl at work that I told about my journal had some horrid news today. Well horrid for me that is. Her boyfriend / mate has just accepted a job in Georgia and is making plans to leave. She'll naturally follow in about six months, god I'll miss her. She's my kindred. I hate that word and I seldom use it, but it works with her. She's the only other staff I can travel with, we've been away together for up to a week with no one   getting testy. We've never taken our relationship outside of work, but often do things for each other of a considerate nature. She's the one that I was hoping would buy Toni Morrison's Paradise, but alas... the wench is on a budget. She invited me to come and stay when she gets settled. And it was strange in that I got a "lump" in my throat. She's alot like me in that she doesn't let people in easily and when she does you know its genuine. She's truly one of the few people that I'm proud to have as a friend.

But I'm obsessing on this as I was gonna tell her tonight how much she meant to me, and she (before I opened my big yap) told me this news. I mentioned earlier how I have few friends close geographically to me, and I guess this really hit me hard. When she does leave I'll be relatively isolated. Not that I'm a really needy guy, but she definitely is a constant for me, and I'll hate to lose that. *sigh* Guess my net friends will end up seeing even more of me now, won't they? Or I could get a life? Nah, too much effort... maybe next month.

Speaking of which, Jason and I have finally taken the relationship to the next level, which is what I wanted when we broke up online. We've been spending alot of time together again and growing closer IMHO. He told me what I meant to him last night and how I was one of only 5 people that he's staying in touch with when he is Net-less (about 3-6months duration). I told him that I considered him one of my best friends regardless if this is just "online", the people are real, and the feelings are real. And yeah, he still excites me tremendously. Ummm, but I've been good. Honestly :P

I forgot to hyperlink Rodion's journal when I mentioned it, so here's the link.....THIS IS A LINK, I'm still pawing through it and leaving smudgy little fingerprints all over his pages. There's also a link to it in my guestbook if you'd rather (for whatever reason is beyond me) access it from there.

I have a barrage of mails to dissect, some of which are pretty intense. So I'm outta here... but not before I leave you with one last quote. It was what Ellen said on her show tonight to her girlfriend.

***The trick is too get the bigotry to work for you***

Actually she looked at a woman and said "we're lesbians" she said this to a woman in order to free up a seat at Sea World San Diego. The quote was the ensuing response to her girlfriend as she claimed the newly vacated seat.

I'm rambling... g'nite.

PS: check out this link on Kevin Spacey... fag or fiction?    I have serious doubts. *sigh*

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