MY JOURNAL ENTRIES
Jan 26 5:12pm
So I'll update on the whole sex phone call first... get it out of the way and all. Well I phoned him, but only after I resolved what a psycho I was being. You know, so I'd have no doubts as to my intentions and all. It wasn't the same guy as I thought it was. But it was a situation that was "almost" as tempting. But I was good. I didn't take the bait, nor did I leave it open-ended or anything. I gave a definite no to him. It sounds stupid, but I was quite proud of myself actually. I almost wanted to tell Greg what I'd done, but I know he would be horrified and that's just not somewhere I want to go with him. I should be more honest with him I know. But at the same time I've broached the subject with him and he always says "what is past, is past... I'm not with you on any conditions. I love you regardless, so you never have to explain your past." I asked him once if he ever had any doubts, would he ask me? He looked at me and said "its none of my business, hon." Sometimes I wish he was more interested in it, but at the same time its nice to have someone who is so unaffected by gossip and other's opinions. He really does amaze me in that he never accepts hearsay, nor does he ever feed into it. He figures if someone tells him face to face what they did, then he believes it. If not then he dismisses it. He was the brunt of a few nasty rumors when he moved here, and says he learned quickly how bad fags can be, especially when it comes to gossip and half truths. I love that about him.
I found a new journal that I'm gonna start perusing. R.Rodion's Journal.. I found it as a result of the Just My Words Webring that I joined. Yep, I joined yet another ring... SIGH, this makes what?... four hundred rings I've joined? I actually corrupted Rodion's guestbook with unintentional HTML tags, so that has instigated contact between us. Nothing like causing someone Xtra work to ensure an Email *S*. He talks about his environment, his addictions, family, etc... so I really felt a connection there, in regards to what I think we are both trying to accomplish and why we keep journals in the first place.
But I actually had a thought in regards to webrings today... I want to form my own. But of course I'd have to give it some really nasty name. Like the "Ring of Thoroughly Obnoxious Queers"... or maybe "Menstrual Queens". Ewwwwww, that last one is pretty disgusting, maybe not. Ohhhhhh, perhaps "Queer Men with Pens". I like that one. Don't want no new agey name for my Webring, no sir. And of course membership would involve some really inane "quest". For example: To join my ring you must first acquire a picture of yourself with a universally acknowledged icon of Queerdom. Pictures of yourself in front of Judy Garland's grave DEFINITELY qualify. But nothing related to Barbara Streisand or Celine Dion will be accepted under ANY circumstances.
What else? I'm supposed to be meeting Greg at work tonight, I have to help him with that new project of his. Gonna spend some time exploiting the scanner once I'm done as my payback, well that and make the boy buy me supper. :)
Dan invited himself over and I left him alone in the front room for under two minutes, take a wild guess at what he was up to when I emerged from my bedroom? You guessed it, he was checking the "redial" list on my phone. The boy has serious "issues".
I could tell you all about what a great night Greg and I had last night and how much more I love him than I did the day before, but that would only prove to bore you soooooo.... instead I'll tell you about the book I started reading. Its about the serial killer Paul Bernardo and his wife Karla Homolka. WOW, what a twisted couple. I totally avoided all media attention during their trial as I honestly didn't want to hear about such depravity. But I got the book for Xmas and finally cracked it open as I wanted a "light" read. She was so much more of nutcase than he was, its just amazing that they even found each other. I wondered if either one of them would have killed had they not met each other? It almost reminds me of Henry the serial killer and his companion and how together they were just out of control. No conscience, no remorse, no regrets.
***What would you think if I was a rapist?***
Paul Bernardo to Karla Homolka on their first date
***I'd think it was cool.***
Karla Homolka at age 17 to the then 22 year old Paul Bernardo
Hope that doesn't end today's entry on to dour a note. But I have to run.