Jan 23 (again) 5:27pm

***do you think of me when you fuck her?***

Alanis Morrisette

Ok, so I know I updated already but I'm just dying to bitch and scream a little. So I went to my course/workshop today, and I got out an hour early with the flawless mark of 98%. Thank you, thank you. I was even up in time to meet Jason for an hour's worth of chat online this morning, we were just fabulous I might add. We had all them "guests" in awe. And of course we left a few of them for dead, but only the ones that deserved it. He was female this morn and I was male BTW.

After my course I head out to pick up my photos and the creepiest thing happened. I'm still totally shaking my head over it. I opened my last package of photos expecting to see the roll with Greg and his art, and a few Xmas photos on it, but it was not what I found. Instead its an EXACT duplicate of a roll of film that I had developed over a year ago. I'm not kidding. I know this roll had already been developed because they are the photos I have uploaded on my personal WebPages. I asked the girl at the PhotoShop what could've happened and she was just "I don't know" and I'm all "well honey this is impossible" and she's all "I don't know". So I'm sitting here with two identical sets of film in front of me shaking my head, too bizarre.

Then I stop off to get some money because I decide to finally break down and pay for that painting that I bought before Xmas. The little one by the well known artist that I bought for the name alone. I talked about it previously I'm sure. I do that and piss around for a bit, then decide to get my money for the week and stop to extract yet more money from my account. And guess what? The fucking cunts at VISA have drained my accounts again. I have 8 dollars to my account balance. I'm so fucking mad right now that I'm just seething. My rent cheque is gonna bounce again, and I won't be able to make my computer payment, this was my last one incidentally. AND half the money there was going towards my damage deposit for my new apartment when I move. I'm just furious. I'm closing out my accounts and moving to a new bank. FUCK THEM, they can sue me if they want the rest of their money, I swear to god. I already made a payment this month, and my account was way beneath my balance now. At least 800 dollars beneath my credit limit.

Anyway, after that I'm walking down the street and I see this homeless guy asking for change and quite aggressively I might add. I had my Walkman on, was tired, bitchy, and just not up to being put out in the least. I see this guy all the time, he's young, healthy, and wears a pair of $300 Doc Marten boots, so I have little or... OK change little to NO sympathy for him. And he's yammering at me and I didn't look at him nor did I turn my Walkman down or off to see what he wanted. I'm sorry, but just because you feel you have a right to ask me for money does not mean I owe you a response... get real, and get a fucking job. I then hear all this screaming going on, it was loud enough that I can hear it over the music, and I'm quite a ways from my "friend" by this point as well. I turn around and he's on the ground screaming while a little crowd is forming around him. I sorta turned my music down for half a sec to get an idea of just what the problem is. The guy is pointing at me and "sobbing" in his best WOE AS ME voice and saying something to the effect of "all I wanted was some money for some food, why did he treat me like something subhuman?" And of course he's in near hysterics and of couple of the good Sams that had gathered round to hear his plea for help, were looking at me in their best "I'd have dealt with this differently if I was you".... YEAH WHATEVER!!! So I just kissed the tip of my middle finger and walked on. Like I'm taking time outta my day for this sorta crap. I'm actually a very empathetic person and do lots for various social causes. But ask me for change or try and manipulate me to get the response you "think" you deserve and you'll be sadly mistaken. Under the circumstances I wouldn't cross the street to spit in this guy's hair.

But I'm heading over to Greg's tonight, finally. We were supposed to be working on a presentation that he has to make to the head office, but he said he wasn't gonna share me with his work tonight. Instead we're staying in drinking the darkest beer we can find and he's promised to put out if I talk sweet *G*. Maybe I'll call him when I'm done uploading and tell him that he's making me supper. He had the day off, I think he can muster up enough energy to throw some lasagna noodles in a pan. I'll give him a quickie in the morning as well if he goes that far.       :)

  If the language in today's entry offended you I'm sorry ...sorry that you can't cope.

I'd type more but it's time for me to head out, so that I can continue with my dysfunction of confusing sex with love...

*** there was previously a paragraph here in which I proved I indeed was capable of childish and immature reactions. To attempt looking like and feeling like a prick... I removed it. Yep, I've become a censorer... *sigh*. Well better that than an asshole I guess.***

Ok, now I'm done.

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