Jan 14th

So matinee buddy came over this afternoon for coffee with Greg and I. She had been scheduled in for the abortion on Monday morning, and I'd been bugging Greg to phone her and see how she was doing when there was a knock at the door.

The poor girl, she went to the father's house on the weekend and got wasted, got laid and got her heart broken. She'd decided that she wouldn't let him take her to the hospital but instead would have a friend take her. He said "call me when you get home" and she rightfully replied "if you wanna know how I'm doing then I'll leave it up to you to phone me". And here it is Wednesday evening and no phone call yet. She finally admitted that he was an asshole and Greg was pretty upfront with her, made her admit despite that it hurt that she had to accept what his intentions were... none. She's pretty upset, but better now than later I guess.

She told us all about the physical procedure and seems ok with it emotionally, was as good as can be expected that is. She's in a total state of uncertainty right now, her job, personal life, and accommodations are all up in the air. She's thinking of going up north to work for about six months or so to save money. I think her rational is quite valid, initially we were worried that she was just trying to run away from it all, but I think she's a little more logical than that. I feel bad though, she's in a lot of physical pain right now.

One side note, I got a phone call from a friend of a friend that I've never met before. He said he'd been to my WebPage at a friends house (my personal page) and was wondering it I'd help him build a page to promote his "art photos" (nudes of himself) and his drag persona. Said he'd pay me, but I offered to help him for free. Just told him to write out all the info he wanted included, figure out his navigation, and compile what graphics he wanted to use and then I'd slap it all together for him free of charge. It'll be good experience, and I'm not good enough at this to charge for it. Greg said I was letting myself be taken advantage of, but I don't see it that way. He can buy me a meal or something in return, I'm not to fussy.

But there is one huge drawback... I've only talked to this guy on the phone but I'm 200% positive that it is someone I picked up at a straight bar about two years ago, shortly after Greg and I broke up the first time. From his address and a few personal things he mentioned about himself I'm pretty certain its the same guy. So I'm having some tension about that. Not that its a huge deal, but it could be awkward. I didn't know he was a female impersonator when I slept with him, not that it matters either, but from what he says he gets around to say the least. So I'm more embarrassed that my friend that showed him my page, Greg, and a few select others will find out I slept with him and think that I did him "because" he's a slut. I know that's horridly shallow, but I'm human. First time I meet him I'll do it alone and maybe just try and talk to him and let him know that I'd rather what we did remain between him and I, not the rest of the world.

Every now and again what we do in moments of loneliness or desperation come back to us full circle and those are the moments I really question my own character. I mean I slept with him so I shouldn't have to hide it should I, or feel ashamed. But I do. Moreso once I realized just what other's perceptions of him were. Guess I somehow thought because I'd picked him up at a straight bar that the chances of seeing him again weren't good. I forget just how small a town of one million people can be sometimes.

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