Dec 15 8:49pm

Long day...

As usual I got stuck working on my day off, as well my Sunday was filled with work as well. But at least yesterday I got off in time to meet Greg, and our friend Shelly, for a movie. I really love Shelly she's just far too sweet for words. She's alot younger than either of us, just turned 21, but you'd never know till she tells you. She's one of those girls that just "is". She has sex when she wants to, smokes dope when she chooses, and will tell you exactly what she thinks of you as she thinks it. But not in a wild partying big mouth sort of way. Just an honest, upfront, what you see is what you get sort of girl. I like that, ALOT.

We went and saw Scream2 and I must say... "RUN DO NOT WALK TO THE THEATRE". It was so good, but you must first like those type of films and be a Wes Craven fan (which I've been since I was 13) to truly appreciate it. So many actors and actresses that I love were in it, and just hordes of cameos. YES.... Tori Spelling is in it. Not that I like Tori mind you, but I love that she can laugh at herself enough to do this project. Laughability is only laughable when the person you laugh at.... laughs back.

Once home we rented movies, made coffee, and ordered pizza. We're such film fanatics I swear. We rented Roman Polanski's The Tenant, and Polygrams release of Snow White "a tale of terror" starring Sigourney Weaver. I love Ripley... errrr, I mean Sigourney. I was not disappointed with either one, shocker. But it was nice, Shelly usually sort of snuggles in between us on the couch and says that she's sucking energy, I like it. And there's not many women I'd let snuggle against me on the couch, but she's one of the few. Even fewer women I'd let between me and Greg *snicker*.

I was supposed to see him tonight but after getting off work I was just WAY too tired. I need to sit home and unwind, finish my paperwork, clean the house, watch some TV and maybe work on an afghan I'm making for my six month old niece. Never mentioned before that I  knit and crochet, but actually was sort of inspired due to a journal I read this eve. This guy who responded to some fool that subscribes to an online mailing list I belong to. Well I liked what he said, he talked about being gay, living with tolerance and his views on religion. Very seldom do I even read the threads and figure I'll probably drop the subscription soon enough, but his feedback prompted me to visit his site and actually dig through its contents. Anyway he crafts, so I've been wanting to crochet, etc since I read about it. I find its such a soothing thing to do, usually I would do it while I watch TV etc, but lately most of my TV "watching" occurs while I'm online, so I've fallen way back in my projects that need completion.

I actually thought about some stupid stuff today, mostly why I bother even sending mail to people who's sites I visit. I'm one of those people that if I visit a site I often send a mail or sign the book. I seldom hear back from above said people, and once even got a rude response back. Which thoroughly baffled me, why ask for feedback if you don't actually want it? Same with signing a book when you've not looked at the site. I try to send thorough letters showing people that I read the site etc, and like I said I seldom hear back. Not that I expect people to gush but I figure its a basic social grace, kind of like sending a thank you card if someone opens their home to you, etc. Doesn't hurt my feelings per se but does make me question my site content... is that why they don't respond? or is it one of those things where people always have to put some GIF of a pencil on their site, like its in the rule book or something. I have a friend who has no way of contacting him from his site, and when I mentioned this too him, he just responded " I don't give a shit what people think of my site". That I can respect alot more. Not sure why I'm even talking about this, must be on my mind. Or maybe I feel vulnerable once I contact someone that I don't know, and somehow feel rejected following. PFFFFFFSHSHT!!!!! That's way too deep, just pisses me off. Yeah, that's it.

I'm feeling some holiday anxiety. Not alot but some. I was never raised to celebrate Xmas as a child, being raised Jehovah's Witness and all. So I often don't know how to get excited over the birth of someone I choose to not believe in consciously as an adult. I'm not Christian therefore, I don't lose my dignity and restraint over a Christian holiday. And yeah, I know.... "Christmas is not just about Christ, blah, blah, blah." But on a universal level, the Christians have bastardized the holiday in their honor so yeah it is about Christ IMHO. I can call it Xmas, but it just feels like another day on which I'm forced to take cabs instead of buses and endure horrid TV and radio programming. Call me a cynic. Although I'd pay a million bucks to get to see that look on my one nieces face again when her mother told her that Santa had come in while we were all asleep, and she says (without so much as a blink) "did you call the police?". That child is gonna be my evil twin when she grows up.

one last note... I woke up with my lips on Greg's mouth and when I asked him about it he claims it was me, apparently I do that alot when I'm asleep. Beats the shit outta sleepwalking, perhaps I can gain a rep as some sort of kissing bandit.

OK two last notes... I hate going home for Xmas cause my dad will insist on taking me out to the cemetary where my plot is and telling me that some day I'm gonna be buried there. Am I the only person who finds this behaviour creepy? And for the record, he didn't buy himself a plot there but insisted that it would be the best place for me.

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