MY JOURNAL ENTRIES

                                             

 

Dec 1 9:05am

I head over to Greg's on Saturday night still thoroughly distressed about my financial woes and lo and behold what does he do ..... HE MOCKS ME!!!! Was pretty funny actually he just made light of it and basically reinforced what I was trying to tell myself, THAT of course being "deal with it". Within the half hour I was in stitches and never really gave it too much more thought for the rest of the weekend. He's too sweet I swear.

We rented videos, listened to music and ate.... thrilling huh? But good news he cancelled the party we were supposed to go to and stayed home to stroke my ego instead. The only drawback was his ever-present roomy Shandra. She moved in about 3 weeks after we got together again and has been present since the day she moved in. Which usually I'm pretty cool with this but there's one HUGE drawback. She moved here to learn English and up till now I've only heard her mutter a total of about ten words.   She's in her early twenties but is definitely a REALLY young twenty years old. Greg spends half his time translating between us and if he leaves the room she refuses to speak to me. God she won't even look at me half the time. Yet she can for the most part understand English she just refuses to speak it. I figure she views this as an extended holiday versus a learning experience.

He had explained when she moved in that we had just gotten back together and were working through some stuff, and that I would be his priority and he hoped she had the independence to get out there and apply herself. AKA get a job, makes some friends and not rely on him for entertainment and babysitting, naturally she agreed that she indeed was not looking for a new best friend in him or in us. And I can empathize with her but at the same time, SHE NEVER LEAVES THE HOUSE!!! Its gotten to the point that I have trouble saying good morning, etc and have pretty much stopped addressing her cause I seldom get a response or an acknowledgement. We can be in the middle of  an intimate conversation and she'll come flying into the room and start talking to him and just talk over me, etc. She seldom considers that I've not seen him for several days and doesn't give us a couple of hours alone before monopolizing his time and attention. Couple of times this weekend I pointblank told her to shut up as I was in the middle of a story when she'd burst in. And yeah the tension was definitely showing.

We'd made plans to go out to see a matinee and then play pool and drink beer the following day (Sunday), and had shaken "our daughter" as we've taken to calling her. We left the theatre after an almost disappointing showing of a movie that we'd been waiting forever to be released. See where this is going? ...this was definitely an "us" afternoon. And we were slamming the bad parts and using our infinite wisdom of film to decide the strong points and how "we" would've changed it to make it flawless. And for the record this is something we do quite intensely, as we just think that we are so damned clever and all *G*. And out of the shadows she comes in just a panic and latches onto Greg and starts to babble incoherently. He tells me she's incredibly nervous about her job tomorrow (yeah she finally got a job), and that she just couldn't sit in the house by herself. So I'm really pissed that he invites her to come and play pool with us. Cause..... well you know thats like a boyfriend thing right? So the longer the day stretches on the nastier I feel myself getting till I decide I'm not being fair to him, etc and make an effort to be less of an asshole.

So I'm ok by the time we get home and think I can cope with everything. But for the record I'd only slept an hour the night before so I told Greg I was gonna lay down and try to sleep the minute we got back and he agreed that was best cause I was definitely hitting my breaking point. Now I got to clarify something else... Greg and I sleep on the FUTON in the front room as he'd given her the bedroom. But anyway, I return a few calls that needed to be dealt with and when I come out they've started watching a movie on TV, which is not a problem I was so exhausted that I could've slept through anything. BUT, she's sitting next to him on the couch so I grab the chair. I mention "kind of" absentmindedly that I should really hit the sack and he mumbles this half-assed response, yet no one moves. GRRRRRRRR. I fall asleep in the chair, and he tries to wake me up right away, and I think I tried to deck him (nasty habit leftover form when I was a kid).

Yeah, yeah, yeah, get to the point. I crawl into bed and notice that she's nowhere in sight, and he looks really tentative and a bit edgy. By the time I've gotten into bed my hostility is showing, think it was the way I fired my pants across the room that gave it away. For the most part I'm not that passive aggressive I was just getting really angry. He apologizes and explains that the minute he saw me asleep he told her that he had to put me to sleep and explained the insomnia etc. She agreed but yet never moved her ass. SO he tells her that he hopes she doesn't mind but he's gonna put me on the couch (next to her) and he's gonna take the chair. Well lucky for us she didn't mind this arrangement, she's such a saint... and apparently very clever as well as she picked up on his (FINALLY) hostility and scampered off to her room.

We stayed up and talked it out and I realize how difficult this is for him as well, as he deals with her all week long. It was actually a nice intimate conversation with no real anger on either end and no one slammed her. It was nice. We just talked and I fell asleep with my head on his chest and slept for the next 8hours *S*.

When I woke up this morning I had time to make coffee, iron his clothes and cleanup a bit before the alarm went off. CLARIFICATION: I don't do this stuff cause I have a "wife" complex, I do it to give us longer in bed for morning conversation. So my motives are entirely selfish. But anyway, it was a good morning and I'm still feeling a bit of a glow despite the fact that I'm penniless and have inherited a twenty something daughter I never wanted. Hey, call me a suck but a couple of soft words and everything just sort of slides off in lieu of.

LAST NOTE

Two people just ICQ'd me and offered to pay me to come and help em out with their web pages, etc... they know I won't just TAKE money from them so its a sweet offer. But I'll do the work regardless and not charge them. Its a buddy thing. Instead I'm gonna exploit all their computer equipment and abuse on their scanners etc. *G*.

Starting to get feedback and mail on my page, that's kind of nice...  psssst, thanks Kay.Justin.James and Dave.

The online ex just messaged me, I think he wants to meet and hopefully talk. I miss him so I'm hoping we can become friends again, he's one of the best people on cyber list. But I need to waste the rest of my morning on the net so I'm gonna upload  and surf the net until I have to do that whole RL thing.

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