My Journal Entries...



April 5 late-ish

I almost didn't upload tonight as I'm feeling kinda crabby, crabby as I have a splitting headache and am annoyed at myself for missing the time change and subsequently almost missing the movie this afternoon. I hate to rush, and when I do it can throw my whole day off. I've been kinda snappy all day, and just wanted to be left alone. Needless to say that never happened. Finally just holed up in my room, as I was starting to get to the point I won't respond to any inane questions and observations I find annoying. And since I'm crabby and a bitch, I tend to view most of what people say to be annoying. Yet I know its not the people in my life that are bugging me so much as how I respond to them.

EXAMPLE: Daria phones me at work to tell me I need to pick up cat litter... OK. I pick it up and when I get back I find out that the box doesn't need changing it needs emptying of the "lumps"... no big deal. Except I just walked ten blocks to find a store  that was open, paid twice what the litter was worth, and then had to walk home on a somewhat cold day only to discover that this wasn't necessary. She has a tendency to fill the box up rather high... this bugs me as its wasteful, and you run a risk of the litter smelling more if you do this, VS just putting in about an inch or more. So I mention that the box shouldn't be filled up this high as it will stink more and its kinda costly to keep replacing the litter. She instantly has to pick up the bag of new litter and read me the directions... "fill to three inches". I start explaining that I saw this on a "cat show", and that of course the company wants you to waste it, as then you have to buy more. But of course as soon as I open my mouth I decide to just bite my tongue. Don't sweat the little stuff, don't sweat the little stuff, my new mantra. Basically I know I'm just being petty, and that litter isn't an issue, but at the same time... if the box stinks EMPTY IT!!! I just think she hates scooping out litter and instead  chooses to just dump the whole thing out, which although thorough is rather expensive. blah, blah, blah. Today's juvenile tirade comes to an official end.


On my way home I rented "a Fairy Tale" and "the English Patient." Yep, I'm like the only person on the planet to NOT have seen it yet. Bad timing prior to the Oscars, and then anger following that Marianne Jean-Baptiste lost for best Supporting Actress. Figure I've made poor Juliette suffer for over a year, therefore it was time to give it a chance (and to grow the fuck up). Don't get me wrong I've always loved Juliette Binoche, and I do own the "colors" series. Guess I just love Marianne Jean-Baptiste more.

On several occasions I've wanted to rent it with Greg, but I know he wasn't a huge fan or nothing so I decided to not put him through the ordeal twice. When I get home Daria asks all confused like "why would you rent this film?" I stare blankly (ok so I didn't, but it makes for better copy and gives a stunning visual) and inform her I've never seen it. She then tells me that Greg rented it tonight, as she'd been over there and they'd gone for coffee. She then tells me that he'd mentioned that I'd wanted to see it but had never had a chance yet. Is that not bizarre, its like we're linked on some deeper level. Dare I say... "he's the good twin." :)


Check this out... now I've got bookends. Even have a name to go with the anonymous E-mail. Ummm, not anonymous now I guess. Funny how words'll trick you up everytime. Or is that make a liar out of you, I mean me. NEXT....


Thinking I may have to pull another all-nighter. BOO-HOO. May even take a peek and see if Rayne is on ICQ while I'm at it ... you know ask for her measurements or something. }:->


Am I losing you yet, do I need to say something engaging and entertaining? Here's a really stupid something for you then, not sure if its engaging or entertaining, but here goes. Have you ever had a moment where you weren't feeling totally stable, but yet felt like you were bonding immensely with your animals? So in a moment of maternal love (paternal for all you vagophobic, sexist, homophobic males) you licked one of yer pets before even realizing what you were doing? Well my friend had a moment like that, and did I bug her. HAHA. Then about three months later (now this is the really pathetic part) I did the same thing in a conscious and deliberate action, for whatever reason. I think at the time I thought it would help me bond with my youngest grrl, but all it did was have me running to the bathroom making pffppt noises and attempting to spit out the approximately 800 cat hairs that were invading my oral orifice AKA my mouth. I told that to Greg and all he responded was "and I'm supposed to kiss you now?" And yeah, his stare was totally blank. Before you even think it, who in there right mind would make something like this up, ummm maybe someone insane enough to lick an unsuspecting cat and leave it traumatized for life. Oh god James, SHUT UP!!!


I hate change. Really I do. Today when I was buying cat litter I realized that I needed deodorant as well. Cause I, you know, ran out. But they didn't have my regular "flavor" so I had to go with a "new and improved" scent. Its sitting here mocking me as I type this. I'll fill you in tomorrow and let you know how it fares. Ok, so that last observation proves it. Its best that I'm at home online, rather than out in the real world where I could definitely cause some serious damage to someone.


Ok, so this will be my last long thought, no more asterisks to divide up all these incoherent thoughts and ramblings.

Talked to Dan for like ages the other night. Surprise, we never snapped at each other and I didn't bitch slap him over anything. The friend that I recently was thrust towards asked him over for supper the other night. Now that kinda bugs me in a lot of ways. Its like the three of us all went our separate ways at the same time and now they're back in touch, and yeah it seems positive and "nice" sofar. What bugs me about that is that in a hundreds ways, directly and indirectly, he was responsible for her and my departure, and subsequent estrangement. Also I met the guy that she "replaced" me with... AKA her token fag, and that did NOTHING for my ego. I'm WAY cooler. No kidding, I am. He's a geek, I'm hip. Yet she favors him over me. *sigh* Yeah, yeah, I know... I have my faults, but I don't wear high-tops damnit and I mind being replaced by someone that does.

Useless link of the day HERE.


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