My Journal Entries...



April 20 2:57pm

I took the day off today. Decided that these extra days are wiping me out. I'll work another one later in the week to compensate, but for now I just REALLY needed two days off in a row.

Greg and I had a great weekend. Nothing in particular made it great it was just the being with him, and the time we had. Shandra was off with her new beau so we got the house to ourselves, which was such a nice surprise. Sunday was "as usual" spent with Matinee Buddy, we went and saw Night Watch despite its horrid reviews. MB and I have this thing for Ewan McGregar. :) It was actually not that bad, after reading the reviews I almost didn't go but I'm glad I did. Wanna know the sad part, we then went home and watched Andy Warhol's Frankenstein on video, and after that rented two more vids and ordered pizza. I tell ya it may sound like a waste of a day, but it was alot of fun. We rented The Assignment, and The House of Yes. Neither was life altering, but neither totally sucked either. There were several others that I wanted to see, but none of those were in.

I've been so happy with how Greg and I are communicating lately, that I want to talk about it. But at the same time I'm not really sure what's different exactly. Maybe its me, maybe I'm seeing things differently, yet I'm not entirely certain. I just know that when I look at him, I have no doubts, no concerns, and I don't look towards the future with uncertainty. I just accept "us" and don't give it much thought.

I think not having Shandra around as well is always a bit of fresh air for us. We can just hang out together without any one else's influence or interruption. Its like having a guest come that never leaves. I said something to him the other night that surprised even me. We were discussing something really lightheartedly and for whatever reason the conversation somehow veered towards "why I'd reacted a certain way to a certain thing"... not exactly sure what it was though. And my response was "because you're my best friend." He sorta paused and then it dawned on me what I'd said and it felt "awkward" all of a sudden. Instead of responding he just leaned over and kissed me really soft and slow.

It made me think of friends that I have that are in relationships that say their partner is their best friend and for the first time I realized that I felt that. Greg and I share so many things that how could I not consider him my best friend? There may be things that are unique to him, and things that only I am interested in, but that's what makes a good friendship. The ability to entertain and learn from each other, as well as together. For the most part, due to my timelines and geographical influences, he's often the only person I communicate with during a week... for any extended period of time that is. Yet I seldom feel lonely (despite my ramblings a few days ago) and I seldom want for more. I know his week is similar, he'll blow off his friends to be with me and will decline group social outings to stay home and watch reruns on TV if I'm there with him. I don't really want for more than him, but not in a clingy needy sort of way, but rather he makes me feel complete and fulfilled.

I have friends that will blow off their lovers to go hang with their friends and are invariably getting into trouble throughout the whole thing. My one brother will do that, leave his wife at home since he can't bear to not be with his friends. Now that doesn't make sense to me. What is so desperately lacking in his marriage that only his friends can provide? If I married someone and started building a family, I couldn't imagine jeopardizing it to have a few beers with the guys I'd been drinking with since I was 14. But then again I don't have that, maybe I would tire of it, but in all honesty I can't imagine. Furthermore, I don't think I would be able to remain friends with anyone that would in any way enable me to jeopardize those relationships. I've never made a friend put me before their families, nor is that something I ever would do. It just doesn't make sense to me.

There's much more I could drone on about today, but I just don't have the energy right now. Well cept that I bought a scanner... had I mentioned that before? I found the one weakness today... if I'm in chat and I try and scan something to send it out... I crash and big. So that's kinda pissing me off, since I'm not enough of a computer geek to isolate the problem, and since I do so love multitasking... this is a decided bummer. *sigh*

Oh well... gonna go on AIM for a bit and see who's lurking around.

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