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June 30th

I'm so bagged. Its almost 4:30 and I just woke up. I was supposed to be doing work last night but instead  I spent all my time playing online. I finally got the entire copy of PhotoShop 5, but am having a small glitch that is making me nuts. Also got copies of MSPublisher 98, did I mention I finally put Win98 on as well. Even found the manual for Bryce 3, tis a good day for Warez, tis a very good day.

Just gonna drag myself around the apartment for a bit and then phone Greg, he left me a message claiming that he was getting me drunk this evening. Cheap bastard'll make me go dutch I just know it, but hey at least we're doing out. It's funny in that we go out probably more than I have with most of my B/Fs, yet it still feels like we spend all of our time in the house. Not that I mind. He's one of the few people I can just hang with, and he never annoys me. And for me that's not the most common occurrence.

I finalized some plans for a wedding I have to attend when I get back from the coast, and I'm really looking forward to it. Just seems I don't get home near enough these days, maybe twice a year it seems (if that). But a guy I worked with ages ago is getting married, and me and my friend Alice are going in on a gift, etc. This will afford me the opportunity to see many people I haven't seen since I was probably around 19 or so.

Where I grew up was such a small town mentality. I worked on a "team" for three years till I moved up here. Everyone on that team is still in touch, well everyone that lives there still. They will all be at the wedding. When I talk to Alice she's always nonchalantly mentioning just who stopped over, who she's run into at the store, etc. In a big city you can work with someone for 10 years and never run into then outside of work, but a small town doesn't afford you that option.

I don't miss living in a small town, but I do miss knowing my neighbors and seeing people I know everytime I go out. Although I covet the anonymity of the city, I still miss the casual repoire of a small town.

Sure and after saying that I'll be cringing and wanting to come home after three days, that is usually my limit. My mom always says she can see me growing more agitated by the day when I'm home. So when she wakes up and there's a note on the kitchen table stating I've decided to take a midnight bus and return on the milkrun... she understands.

Even my birth siblings find my need to be in a city unsettling. They love where they are and wouldn't change it for the world. They've all lived in the city and went running home after usually three years. Now they are lifers where they are, and their children will be too. When they come to "my" city they are kinda funny, as a couple of them sorta wander around with that mentality that everything worth finding is in a city. I get all sorts of requests like "take me to the big titted chicks". So I then have to explain to them that that part of the city is still being developed.

They tend to believe that, because I'm gay, I live some sort of decadent and exotic lifestyle that equals only Calligula's <sp?> in sin and hedonism. HAH. If they only knew just how boring the life of an out homosexual really is. But I let them have their misperceptions. My one brother still talks about the time I was working in this coffee shop and him and his wife had stopped in to visit. A friend of mine was dropping off some clothes I was wearing out to the clubs that night. This friend was a paid female impersonator AKA Drag queen. My sister in law was yakking away to "her" and "she" was hitting on my brother shamelessly. It wasn't until after "she'd" left and another "not so pretty" thing was there expounding on his hermaphrodism and impending sex change that it dawned on them that Karla was actually a Carl. I never knew how a random brush with a queen could just make someone's day. Hell I'd always found them to be somewhat over-rated.

But umm, that's' today's entry. Not sure where it was going, etc. but I need beer. Later...


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