So Jason was supposed to be offline for several weeks, but apparently he's more of a
net junkie than even I am. Just got a mail from him and he's all moved in, has his new
ISP, and is back. Damn, didn't even really have a chance to get real with him VIA Email.
First thing he did me when he went offline was send me this big long mail that was
in-depth and personal, I was thinking this would be a trend... and that I could answer it
likewise. But now that he's back it almost seems pointless to be doing that... well for us
at least it is. I know if he'd had the buffer off not being online yet, that he would've
been more apt to say more and open up more. Oh well, I'll wear him down in other ways.
I watched yet one more movie that the rest of the world hated... "Deep
Impact". If you aren't expecting a huge special effects thriller then you may enjoy
it after all. I know I did. Maybe it was in many ways because I could relate. Let me
When I was a kid my family was deeply religious. They believed firmly in Armageddon and
the Apocalypse forthcoming. I know they still do. I know in many ways I still do. Even
though I'm not part of their faith, I do believe I've retained that. All the prophets
foresee the end of the world, everyone from Edgar Cayce to Nostradamus. I was raised that
the end of the world was just an inevitable. As a kid I used to watch the stars and
wait... I still do.
I believe firmly that come the new millenium there will be drastic global changes,
maybe not immediately but eventually. Whether that be World War III or some huge
environmental concern, or a natural disaster of such huge proportions it threatens all
life's existence... I believe it will happen. And NO I'm not insane in a Ruby Ridge sort
of way, but rather I have complete acceptance of what I feel will happen. I don't own
guns, and I don't horde food. I live in an apartment and there is no possibility of
digging a bomb shelter so there...
I grew up being told, in a most dysfunctional way, too not get too close to people as
in the long run it didn't matter. Because no matter how much you loved the faithless they
would perish. Now keep in mind these are not my beliefs, but those of my birth mother. The
only thing I retained was the belief in the inevitable end of the world. I just can't
accept that such a fate would not be inevitable. Considering how we abuse the planet,
think only of ourselves, and live in the moment. We are continuously seeing how one
society's actions affect the globe time and time again. Yet we continue to pursue things
that we know are unhealthy for the planet, and do threaten our long-term survival. We are
our own worse enemies. So if the end does come I tend to view it as just a way of either
depopulating the planet to such a degree as to ensure the continuation of the species. Not
sure how to fully describe it, except maybe to say its more of a natural occurrence as a
result of unnatural influence.
So now that I appear like some paranoid anti-government, right wing Christian... I'm
ending this now. Ummm, I'm not btw. :)