So it seems my postcards are slowly making there ways across North America. First
Me-7's cats and now Noah. Actually Noah didn't technically *ask* for one I just pushed my
way into his RL against his will.
I'm pretty out of it this morn and prone to mental instability and rambling so bear
with me. I've been sleeping for a few hours and then up for a few hours on and off for
several days now... and I just woke up about an hour ago so my mind is cloudy still.
I actually woke up because the cat took it upon herself to crawl under the covers and
lick the underside of my... you know, testicles. Now maybe this sounds amusing to you, but
I hasten you against laughing. Imagine that sandpapery feeling... and then wonder why I
burst up and across the room screaming "who's there?" at the top of my lungs.
Not a pleasant experience, no not a pleasant experience at all. Oh damn... I do believe I
have yet once again crossed that line of "too much information" haven't I?
Got to add my first site to the "health and wellness" section of the
"gay and lesbian" section in NewHoo last night. Not really worthy of mentioning
I know, but I have so little of interest happening in my sad little life. *wah, wah, wah*
I'm taking another holiday either today or tomorrow, so you know what that means...
YES, another ploy for mailing addresses and solicitation for postcards. You know the
drill. An Email will ensure your addition to my list of victims. Yet I warn you, this
holiday will be INCREDIBLY boring, and the p/c's will reflect it in all aspects (but
you'll get to see where I was born, and how exciting is that I ask you?). But if you want
one... :) Just send the requests before... Friday AM or so. I'll do the
cyber cafe thing on Friday and check my mail...
I'm actually gonna be going to a wedding in my hometown, but first I'm spending a few
days with my best drinking buddy in what is referred to as our sister city. Sister city in
this province that is. Cept yet once again, we're definitely the prettier sister. The
other city is cold, barren, and UGLY. And talk about attitude. The fags there are just
begging to get slapped. People see the two of us coming and I kid you not... they clear a
path for us. Yep, I'm a nasty drunk. I'm fun, don't get me wrong, but Shane brings out my
absolutely WORST side. This will be odd though, in that this is my first real sojourn with
him when I've been in a relationship. Usually we get pissed, we dance to the point of
exhaustion, we shred a few patrons, pick up a boy each, and then call it a night. He kept
telling me that he couldn't dare be seen with me since I'm a "mormon" now, his
words not mine.
Usually our correspondence is limited to me getting phone calls at 4AM and finding out
there is some drunken old queen on the other end of the line screaming "You're a
WHORE!!!" Usually he calls me from some guy's house that he's picked up. I kid you
not, he waits for them to fall asleep and then he racks up their phone bills. He's just a
nut case. I remember when he went through this phase of stealing a bottle of cologne from
every guy that he'd pick up. We'd watched a documentary on serial killers that took
"trophies" and we were dissing their choices of trophies. He decided that since
he gives such great sex, that the people he sleeps with should just accept that they
"owed" him something afterwards. I teased him unmercifully when he picked up
someone and ended up bringing home a bottle of Jovan Musk. *snicker*.
He's the one friend that I share "expressions" with. We make em up as we go
and they tend to stick for years. The current one is "Fuck with me baby, and I'm
gonna shoot you in the mouth. Thats right baby, gonna make you a Jane Doe." Of course
that is only used on really obnoxious homos and only in a bar atmosphere. It started out
as Shane telling guys to back off or he was gonna shoot them in the face. Which evolved
from "I'll cut ya, I'll cut ya good." So anyways, gonna shoot you in the face
was usually followed with "and your momma's gonna have to identify you from dental
records". Then of course in some drunken state I commented "if you shoot him in
mouth, then there wouldn't be no dental records would there?" So then it evolved into
"Gonna make you a Jane Doe". And no... Jane Doe isn't a sexist thing, its a
reference to men. You know how us homos love to call each other girlfriend, etc.
He's the only friend that I'm ever queeny with. Been calling him by "bestest
girlfriend" for many years now, and it won't stop anytime soon.
When I told him I was coming up he had our whole visit planned. It consisted of coffee
shops, clothes shopping, bars, bath houses, and peep shows. Sure and after I go dissing
gay culture... btw, I'm not going to any peeps or bath houses. Just in case you were gonna
send me nasty mail.
Hmmm, what else? I dragged myself into work yesterday only to find out I didn't need to
be there at all. So basicly I got a bus ride out to the deal, yippee. Turned tail and
headed home as soon as I could. Doesn't it just figure that in the self-induced trauma
that is my life, I'd get sick on my "official holidays". Happens all the time.