June 6 - 5:18 PM...
So its been one of those days, but first I want to acknowledge the semi-irregular look
of this page. Yesterday I came home for a few hours between shifts and started uploading
and hoping to iron out all the kinks on the new page. I uploaded and once I had a chance
to view it and see where the problems were my computer froze on me... gotta stop all that
multitasking. So I was gonna reboot, but ended up dropping in to a deep sleep as I took a
"cat break" and woke up just in time to run out the door for work...
I'm sitting here drinking a hazelnut flavored coffee from 7-11 *ACK* and trying to
decide what music to listen to, and just what I want to do with the rest of my day. I know
what I *should* be doing, but I just don't even wanna go there any time soon. I'm really
dark and venomous now... AKA at this exact moment. Not any one thing is eating at me, just
a hell of a lot of various things right now. The woman that cut me off on the train, the
fat guy that wouldn't move over to give me a seat, the teenagers that were spitting all
over the sidewalk... you get the idea. All the people that I usually would just breeze
past.. today were glaring examples of everything I find repulsive, rude, and
I really should just say to hell with all of it and go to Greg's when he's off work,
but I really don't wanna be with him right now, correction... I don't want him to be with
me. There is a difference. I hate putting anyone through me when I'm like this. All day
people would annoy the hell out of me and I'd just relax and "let it go", then
as soon as I was "OK" someone else would cut me off, breathe halitosis in my
face or just bug me in general and I'd literally feel myself just start to seethe. I'm
still pretty much seething, unwarranted yet uncontrollable seething that is.
I feel even worse about the fact that I uploaded about my intentions RE: the MASSF and
meant to send Noah a note that we'd talk when I had a chance to sit down and attempt to
articulate my concerns, etc... but since I fell asleep he found it without my
intervention. Holy run-on sentence Bat-Man.
I'm gonna grab a cat, and have a bath... back in a bit. I definitely need some
"me" time before I say anything else about how many people who's guts I can't
stand at this exact moment.
*** filling tub***
Wow, I really must be tired... I had my bath and laid down "for a
second" and now its 10:30pm and I just woke up. My eyes are burning and I feel like
someone ran me over with a truck. Ouch...
I slept through 8 phone calls. Two from Greg, one telling me to come out
to the movies and then one sounding a bit perplexed that I hadn't phoned him back. So he's
gone out for the night, a midnight movie with his ex. Good thing I can trust him.
I'm not as bitchy as I was, but I am annoyed with myself for wasting my
entire evening like this. Now I'll be up half the night and will accomplish absolutely
nothing... *groan*. I hate when I do this.
Tomorrow will be kinda interesting... I may or may not be getting a phone
call from another journalist who will be in town for a few days. I'm hoping that I do hear
from her, but have a few misgivings about just how scattered I'm feeling and all. But then
again, I did tell her that if she's not entirely comfortable then she doesn't
"have" to call. Either way its the closest I've come to actually meeting with
someone who reads this site, as well as my old one. Me-7 and I have never even broached
that topic and she lives only a few blocks away. I'm gonna end this as I'm really not
feeling very clear-headed right now.
PS: I try to not be too much of a hits slut, but my
"other" homepage got 400 hits yesterday, that kinda shocked me... hmmm, what'll
happen once I actually start advertising it?