So it's official. My roommate is totally whacked
out and "not of this earth". Yesterday I was minding my own business and was
sweeping up all the wayward cat flickings from the litter pan and she suddenly comes out
of nowhere and asks "do you believe in the paladins?"
I stare blankly, as I tend to do when I have no idea what someone is
talking about. And she looks all intently at me and says "you know, the master
race." I again stare blankly, although I do believe I blinked in surprise and
confusion and responded "you mean the Germans?" NOOOOOO, the Paladins. You mean
master swordsmen? NOOOOO, aliens. Ummmm, I guess so. I what to believe (this only would
have been more beautiful had I been wearing my Xfiles T-shirt that says "I want to
believe" on it). She then goes into this huge litany about how common it is for
people to get their ears shortened and to get scent glands removed from their ears... I
nod, uh huh. She informs me of how mad the Paladins are at the "greys" (you know
the Xfile aliens) for interspecies breeding with humans, as we are direct descendents of
the Paladians and are supposed to correct the problems that they were unable to eradicate
prior to creating us. But apparently the Greys are now ALSO breeding humans and are
affecting our genealogy and that is bad. Apparently that is VERY bad. The Paladins are NOT
pleased, after all they've been here since before we were and the Greys have only been
here since the seventies... kinda like the Village People I guess, and we all know how the
planet is still reeling over that little intrusion into pop culture. I make some dumb ass
comment about interspecies breeding and say "so if I married my cat".... she
exclaims for me to be more serious. I look at her and become empathetic, rational and
understanding. What do I get for this? A two hour explanation while I clean the house and
she sits back and tells me all about the history of the human race. I want to believe...
really I do. But in all honesty, I don't think she's that fucked up. Rather I'm suspecting
she didn't wanna mop, as it was DEFINITELY her turn. She's way up on me, as you guessed
it.... I mopped.
Garcon... more coffee please. Ok fine, I'll get it myself...
A friend of mine has a daughter who is mentally retarded, and mentally ill as well.
This girl is well into her thirties. Lately my friend has been telling me all sorts of
really interesting things that her daughter has been up to. Ways in which she'll test her
environment, push her own limits and effortlessly interact with those around her. She's
become conscious the last few years of a multitude of things and is continuously up to
"something". The other day the three of us went out for a meal and the daughter
had us in stitches with things she was asking, stuff she was doing and just her overall
antics. Yet, she wasn't trying to be engaging, clever, or cute... she just was. At the end
of the meal we were discussing her growth, etc and my friend says very matter of factly
"yeah, its kinda like having a pet that never ceases to amuse you." I thought I
was gonna spew margarita on her from head to toe. I just hit the floor laughing. Knowing
this family and knowing how much in love they are with each other was the only saving
grace over such a comment, but was it hysterical. The perfect comment at the end of a
perfect meal. They always make me laugh, but they seldom make me spew.
Did I mention that my parent's are redecorating and I was gonna order them some lamps
for around $500 for a pair? Well, good news for my budget. Greg found them a lamp that is
worth a thousand dollars and he got it for an AMAZING price. Way cheaper than I'd
initially planned on, basically less than I spend on cigarettes in two weeks. Pretty cool,
eh? And when I went to give him the money, he refused it and said "this way it can be
from both of us". Daria has been bugging me about how he's trying to get in good with
the "in-laws". But on an entirely superficial note... I love giving my parent's
quality things. I know they don't have the money as they've aged and everything for them
is really well thought out and purchased. My stepdad has been ill for alot of years and
they've been surviving on my mom's salary for the longest time. So to give them a lamp
that's worth a grand and is a classic and a beautiful piece gives me much pleasure. I know
they'll love it and I know how much they appreciate quality.
I remember once my mom's glasses were looking kinda haggard and worn. I took her out
and forced her to pick out a new set of frames. I know her and I know how to tell what she
really wants VS what she says she wants. So basically we bought the glasses (my treat) and
I told her I'd pick them up later and get them to her. Once she'd left I went back and
upgraded to the pair I know she'd actually been admiring, but of course she went with the
cheaper ones to be nice. I then bought her new shoes and a matching purse and several
perfumes I know she likes as well as bath oils, etc. The one thing about being friends
with your mom is that you can take notes when she comments on stuff she likes. I gave her
the whole deal that year for Xmas and I remember how much she cried and kept hugging me.
Its not the money, its the thought that she deserves to be pampered. When my mom doesn't
have money the first person she stops spending on is herself. Thats why I buy things that
are luxuries that just she can use. She was the only person to get a present that year and
I believe at the time, although decadent, it was the right thing to do for her.
That's why I'm pleased about this present, I know she'll love it and not just that
it'll make me look good, but that it will give her pleasure. I know everytime she turns it
on or looks at it, she'll think of me and Greg. She's like that, she attaches great
sentimental significance to everything she has. I'm really loving her right now.