journalogo.gif (27635 bytes)


June 1st... sometime between sun up and sun down...

I'm slowly losing this need to feel "on sabbatical" from the net and the journal. Once again this is the last thing I should be doing, but I def need to be writing right now. So welcome me back and hold on babycakes.

I'm rested and ready to offend and alienate anew. Ok, so life's not that bad right now. I just sent out a plethora of Emails and got caught up to everyone that matters. So if I missed you then it was an honest mistake, OR you suck and I'm sick of ignorant mail. I tell ya... I'm still reeling from all the nasty mail over my last entry of the old journal. But I've talked to the one person who I was most concerned about and all's well so I have NO concerns at present.

I'm almost done tweaking this site and my other homepage so I feel constructive "almost". I've gotten "almost" caught up on my paperwork AND my shifts have "almost" stabilized... so my life rocks. Well ok, so I'm still about ten pounds overweight, don't have a toned muscle on my body and I incur more debt than I'll ever crawl out from under... oh yeah AND I found that one small wart has grown to be ten small warts. But other than that... I ROCK!!! Can you tell I'm giddy and delirious from a lack of sleep?

I got cats that love me and a sexually insatiable boyfriend... I'm telling ya, life is sweet.

Tonight we watched Anastasia and we still have An American Werewolf in Paris. Greg seriously ragged on me for getting that one, but I kept defending myself by saying "but hon... we need to know about everything Parisian if I'm to feel safe in that big ol' dirty city". His response was to growl at me and bite my thigh. *sigh* I'm a sucker for men that bite... grrrrrrr.

But seriously though, it was kinda cool in that Greg TOTALLY didn't wanna watch Anastasia initially and would give me the "look" whenever someone burst into cheesy pop songs, I admit that annoyed even me. But when I started to point out the differences between this and Disney animation I started to pique his interest and he started to look at it more as a technological accomplishment. Especially when he found out it wasn't a Disney flick but instead was produced by the same people that give us Jerry Springer. We have that in common... we can watch an animated flick and then leap for the remote and pause it to exclaim... "did you see her hair in that scene?!". Now you see why we have to watch movies with each other... no one else can tolerate us.

Greg's the king of editing though... he'll suddenly grab the remote and rewind to show me that someone's hairstyle, clothing, or furniture has changed from one scene to the next. He's got the eye, he does. He even noticed when watching "People Under the Stairs" that in one scene when Fool falls down a staircase, that he's wearing a different shirt as he tumbles by at one hundred and twenty miles an hour than he'd been wearing at the top and bottom of the stairs. I'd watched the movie about 5 times and had never noticed it, he noticed it on the first viewing. But I on the other hand am the king of voices... I correctly identified almost every celebrity voice in Beavis and Butthead Do America. So put that in your pipe and smoke it... not sure what the hell that expression means but my grandma used to say it all the time.

I'm thinking of housing the old site on a separate server, keeping it intact and not just as an archive. I may have to break down and use Xoom after all. I think I've stolen enough space from both Tripod and Geosnitties for too long as is. I still am really uncertain of what to do with it though. I don't want it as part of this site as it would be like a vestigial twin that I just wanted lasered off, but at the same time I don't wanna totally get rid of it. Then it would become the "absorbed" twin in the womb that was never born. Sorry I've been OD'ing on circus freakshows lately.

What else...? I sent a woman from the diary-L list to my site as it is now... AKA the old journal, as she's doing an article <or something> on cathartic journalling. I get to answer questions, etc... for a change about the "healing" process. I'm glad to do it, god knows I've done it enough in the past. But this did get me to thinking about the sheer numbers of times I've been in case study groups or as part of  a "research" group. Everytime they say "we'll inform you of the results". Take a wild guess at how many times I've been informed after the fact of what was written, or where I could access the information. Exactly zero times. And since I was 15 I've probably done about 14 such studies on everything from incest to homosexuality, etc. Now this is definitely an issue for me. What people may or may not realize is that to dig up such stuff, and no matter how many times you answer these things is that it still hurts like hell. Its a knife freshly cutting healed flesh everytime you talk about it. Sure the calluses and the scars get a bit thicker everytime. But the knife never slices the exact same spot so you get a fresh wound every single time.

To be honest I still wanna keep talking but I know just what my attention span is for an entry of this length, so I'm ending this now.

Later kids...


back - forward